CDC UPDATE
The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of sexually transmitted disease. This disease is contracted through dangerous and high-risk behavior. The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim (pronounced “gonna re-elect him").
Many victims have contracted it after having been screwed for the past 4 years, in spite of having taken measures to protect themselves from this especially troublesome disease. Cognitive sequellae of those infected with Gonorrhea Lectim include, but are not limited to:
Traits of Anti-social personality disorder; delusions of grandeur with a distinct messianic caste; disquiloquia; insensitivity to cognitive dissonance; inability to assimilate new information;pronounced xenophobia;severely diminished ability to accept responsibility; loss of the ability to recognize consequences; cowardice masked by acts of bravado; uncontrollable facial tics (smirks); ignorance of geography and history; preternatural regression to simplistic belief systems; and a strong propensity for categorical behavior.
The disease is sweeping Washington. Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed and baffled that this malignant disease originated only a few years ago in a Texas bush.
The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of sexually transmitted disease. This disease is contracted through dangerous and high-risk behavior. The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim (pronounced “gonna re-elect him").
Many victims have contracted it after having been screwed for the past 4 years, in spite of having taken measures to protect themselves from this especially troublesome disease. Cognitive sequellae of those infected with Gonorrhea Lectim include, but are not limited to:
Traits of Anti-social personality disorder; delusions of grandeur with a distinct messianic caste; disquiloquia; insensitivity to cognitive dissonance; inability to assimilate new information;pronounced xenophobia;severely diminished ability to accept responsibility; loss of the ability to recognize consequences; cowardice masked by acts of bravado; uncontrollable facial tics (smirks); ignorance of geography and history; preternatural regression to simplistic belief systems; and a strong propensity for categorical behavior.
The disease is sweeping Washington. Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed and baffled that this malignant disease originated only a few years ago in a Texas bush.
posted by Mike at 1:13 PM
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